Exhale. Relax. Regroup.

Sometimes we all just need to stop. We need to take a moment to look at what we’re doing and pat ourselves on the back for being where we are. Regardless of how things have gone in the last few weeks or terms, we are doing good work. We contribute to developing the potential of those individuals who happen to wander into our teaching spaces and in ways both great and small, we touch lives.

It’s easy to forget all that when you’re drowning in marking, when it feels like the end of the term is a thousand years away and you swear that if you find yourself working after midnight again you are going to have yourself committed somewhere with padded walls. We all mess up. We all have lessons that end with us thinking ‘that was BAD’ and we have all graded tests which have left us thinking ‘I’ve failed, I’ve failed. They know NOTHING!’

Regardless of how much you feel as though you’ve failed, you haven’t. The very fact that you care, that you are upset by what you feel is inadequacy shows that you are very, very far away from being a failure.

Still, I know my words are competing with loud inner critics who know all your weaknesses and know just how to get under your skin and so at times when you feel it’s all too much and you can’t go on with it any longer, I have these four steps for you:

1. Cut the criticism

We all love to criticise ourselves. We set ourselves standards we wish to achieve and when we don’t get it 100%, we’re devastated, frustrated or just plain angry. Remember, your inner critic is often an unfair one. I don’t advocate comparing oneself to others, because I think this brings on personal destruction. What I believe in strongly is that if you can look yourself in the mirror (a worthwhile practice in itself) and say honestly, ‘I did my best,’ then you have won. Your best is all you need to give to be wonderful.

2. Learn from the mistakes

If you’ve not yet watched ‘Meet the Robinsons’ from Disney, do yourself a favour. There is an amazing scene in which the protagonist’s failure is applauded and he gets upset. One of the other characters responds by saying, ‘Failure is good. From failure, we learn. From success, not so much.’ I agree wholeheartedly.

3. Write a pick-me-up to yourself

On a day when you’re feeling fantastic and on top of the world, write yourself a letter. Tell yourself why you love what you’re doing, why you want to keep on doing it and offer yourself words of encouragement. Yes, you will probably cringe when you eventually read it, but you know what, it will lift your mood anyway.

4. Tomorrow is another day

Scarlett O’Hara was right. There will be days when it will all go to pieces. Your students won’t respond, or an idea you thought was amazing will fall flat. The internet will crash, photocopiers will jam and your car won’t start. It’s days like this that make us grateful for the wonderful days. Again, that inner critic of yours will hone in on bad days like a fly to manure and you’ve got to learn when and how to listen to it. Sometimes, it’s best just to whistle as you wave the day goodbye and dust yourself off for another go.

You are doing amazing, wonderful, incredible things—even if it doesn’t always feel like it. And when those times strike, remember you’re not alone.